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[03 Jan 2005|08:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 discontent |
] |
You got what you deserved
Hope you're happy now
'Cause everytime I think of her with you
It's killing me
Inside, and
Now I dread each day
Knowing that I can't be saved
From the loneliness
Of living without you
And, oh
I don't know what to do
Not sure that I'll pull through
I wish you knew
O him....I wish I could pull you close and kiss you that kiss I once loved, and forget about that horrible day of fireworks I broke your heart...when really now I'm the one thats broken. I want to stop these dumb games of playing back and forth and have you tell me how you feel. I was dumb I want you back in my life as any label and for anything.
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| Laps in the pool |
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[07 Nov 2004|05:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 satisfied |
] |
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music |
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Fat Joe-Lean Back (REMIX) |
] |
*Allyson Ellis-*Becky Ryerson-*Christina Morgan-*Regan Niemann
200 Free Relay!!
2nd in Districst--3rd in the Region--4th in State--All American--</3 We Rock
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| 2 Laps in the pool |
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[11 Oct 2004|09:17am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 refreshed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Rascal Flatts- Feels Like Today |
] |
Recently Has been soooooo awesome. I am soo glad w/ everything, nothing could make me happier, and if something just happens to then hellz YEAH!! I have who I want in my life, and I am sorry for those that arent in my life right now because we had good actually great times together...but I mean you guys made your choice and that leaves me to only make mine, and I did...no questions, because at first I wondered why would people be soo mean to do something like that...but just for your own sake and knowledge...((I'm NOT mad, just hurt)). I'm not fake, I'm not talking shit, or even Back, you know who referring to, and although half of you I'm not mad or upset with you, just not wanting to be associated with people that are not true to themselves which in time makes you untrue to others. Its as though I wanted to be who I really was or am, and I was looked down upon for it. but then I began to think I'm not tryin to make you happy, I'm thinking about ME for the first time. and it feels good, I'm happy. I'm doing real good in swimming, I have soccer try-outs coming up although I'm not really feeling it this year, which in the long run might get me cut. but I mean maybe thats what I need so I can swim club, go further with that. I have met a real nice, and very attractive guy through swimming ((<3)), homecoming was sooo fun, my last year to go to homecoming, I go sober...unlike other people..., but I had sooo much fun before during and after(( HAHAHAHAHA)) Sorry its been soo long to update, but you know I'm just taking life as it goes, if you want to be my friend, you know what to do, if your happy w/o me, then you also know what to do...but I'm always here and you know how to reach me.
"Why is it the ones we hurt are the ones we care about the most."
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| 5 Laps in the pool |
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[21 Sep 2004|09:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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content |
] |
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music |
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Britney Spears- My Prerogative |
] |
ONLY smiles on this face!
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| 4 Laps in the pool |
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[23 Jul 2004|09:11am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Ashlee Simpson- La La |
] |
Lately I have been seeing/thinking who matters to me now, who always will, who doesn't, and who never will. It's really a good feeling to be ok. I mean I am >really< apathetic about being a senior, and going to college, and whatever else that comes w/ not having anything left planned out for you after highschool! I have talked to alot of people about this and ALOT of people are soo excited to get out of highschool and just be in college to party all the time. but I mean I don't really party anymore, I am probably going to be stuck in this damned town, called WinterSprings. I mean how shitty. But then again, my best friends and my life will be here, so not too bad. And also, the majority of people are taking OJT, why? seriously ya it gets you out of school, but isn't that going to suck when you miss all that fun stuff that comes with your /LAST/ year of having cake fed to you. Sometimes I just have to sit and breathe because I get soo worked up about whats going to happen to everyone, but then again I lOvE highschool because I get to be w. my friends. Yet, the ones that matter, will be in my life after we graduate if they are really my best friends like this summer has shown by who has called, tried talking to me, or made some sort of an effort, etc since Im not the most cool person because I can't go out and >drink
The "girls"
My Lil Sis, Stephanie
Jaime and Alexia(other lil sis)
Stevie and Lexi
I love them soo much, miss you
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| 5 Laps in the pool |
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[15 Jul 2004|12:00am] |
| [ |
music |
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Shania Twain- It only Hurts when I'm Breathing |
] |
I'm sooo tired of.......
being unhappy
being rushed
being unsatisfied
being nauseas
being scared
being confused
being upset
being unpretty
being hurt
being used
being unwanted
being lied to
being lonely
being unsure
being bored
being sad
being depressed
being stressed
being worried
being unloved
being here
being me
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| 11 Laps in the pool |
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[11 Jul 2004|11:02am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 dorky |
] |
| [ |
music |
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SheDaisy- Dancing w/ Angels |
] |
BEAUTIFUL ICE PRINCESS/PRINCE .You need distance
between you and your partner in your
relationship. You are very difficult to get.
You have big requirements and this one you love
must try hard to get you. But after she/he melt
your heart she/he will be the most happy person
in the world. You need someone who shoes you
that you are special and it makes you feel
good to see that you are loved. She/He shall
know that you could easily get another
girl/boyfriend but you wont as long as you
love him. when she/he hurts you you will hurt
him too, but in general you dont get hurt. If
your partner cheated you ,you would react cold
and immediately (try to) forget him
~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
brought to you by Quizilla
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| Laps in the pool |
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| Maybe a Little sense? |
[16 Jun 2004|09:51am] |
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mood |
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worried |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Do It- T.I. --- For Nikki |
] |
I am not very good at writing so bare w/ me as Im just kinda typing whats on my mind...
In highschool, everyone including I, seem to only worry about little things, like who likes you or more like who doesn't for me, what to wear, who to hang out with, who to act like or try to be, what party you should attend or whos not to, but in all seriousness, what the hell is that going to do for you in the future or even tomorrow!! And the biggest one I think adults would think we would care most about is how to take care of ourself, and not make stupid choices by drinking and driving! But last night, was the biggest eye opener more big then when I did the same thing, and that is weird because your own choices and consequences should change your view. Last night I could have lost my best friend, she made the same mistake I made by drinking and driving and thinking I was ok, thinking that her herself was alright and throwing back a few shots, but see the difference between nikki and I and evryone else that does it, is that we got caught, and I thought before this I was invinsible, but I soon came to realize I wasen't when I got my lisence taken away for 6 months, and didn't have a life after that. All in the past 3 months, I thought my life was really not going well, I had lost what I thought for 3 years a TRUE best friend, Heather Masessa, but up until last night, and I saw what could have happened, it DIDN'T matter because if she was ok with me not being in her life at the moment or even forever, then she was not a real friend, or if she was then she just has her priorites messed up, and really did something wrong and hopefully she will realize sooner then later that then she still has a friendship and, knows just because I can be a REAL bitch, that all my old friends, no matter how much I dispise you or how mean you are to me, I will always care about them, and I will be the bigger person and the first to say that. Then I thought losing David was the biggest thing that could've have gone wrong EVER, but when it comes down to it, I am glad he is happy, I mean if breaking two best friends up, and the friend letting him do it, if thats what he strives on to make him self feel hot or better, just so he can be in a GOOD relationship, then thats his choice and Im really ok to say that I am real happy to see them doing well, and maybe she has done this before with other friends, but I'm not like everyone else, but the point of me getting all that off my chest is that, when I saw Nikki crying and upset it made me think what the fuck are people thinking, do they not know what they are doing, no because they are drunk, even one shot you shouldn't drive and I more then Nikki learned that 6 months ago, Nikki and I chose to drink wayyyy to much for our bodies to handle, yet I thought I was alright, so we started out in Geneva and ended up in Mim's with me driving. I do not remember driving one bit, except Pat Curley called me and all I said was I can't read the signs, then hung up. We ended up passing out soo deeply that when the cop found us passed out on the side of the road, they couldn't wake us up, so we had to go the hospital. Nikki and I had to wait for my parents to get there, for us to go home. So for those who had heard about this, I lied to about this, and have never even heard about it, there you go, there is the truth on why I cannot drive. Do people think its ok, I'm not trying to seem mommyish but the truth is I have to be, I know first hand how much it sucks to have to go through this, and to see what my mom felt like that one night I made the choice to drink and drive, last night seeing my BEST friend, drunk getting in trouble with the law. and All the thoughts that go through/went through me head, I can't imagine what her mom thinks, I love them all soo much, and I will always be by Nik's side, and I just hope she sees who her real friends are, and who aren't that when they find this out, they don't drink and drive or let others drive, especially, your BEST FRIEND! So next time you think about drinking, atleast do it somewhere, with a DD or where your staying there! Please I don't want to have to see anyone like that EVER again!
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| 31 Laps in the pool |
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|
[14 Jun 2004|12:21pm] |
| How to make a Hott4Brit |
Ingredients:
1 part jealousy
5 parts brilliance
3 parts beauty |
Method:
Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Add fitness to taste! Do not overindulge! |
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| Laps in the pool |
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|
[08 Jun 2004|09:14am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blank |
] |
[What are you wearing right now?] cheer shorts and a soccer shirt
[Would you have sex before marriage?]....noooo
[Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers?]YuP
[Are you a virgin?:]no
[Do you smoke?:] No (right Carl)
[Do you drink?:] Is that a Question!
[What are your favorite colors?:]P!nk
[What is your favorite animal?:]Oscar the Cat
[Do you have any birthmarks?:] Yup, my left hand, n my left side
[Who are your best friends?:]Kelly,Ashley,Kyle,Lindz,Pizza,Nikki
[Have you ever been slapped?:]O yea
[Do you get online a lot?:]Yup
[Are you shy or outgoing?:]Outgoing
[Do you shower?:]I have too!
[Do you hate school?:]Sometimes
[How easily do you trust people?:]Too
[Have you ever lied to your best friends?:]nope, I'm straight up
[Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing?]DuH
[Would you ever sky dive?:]Hell Ya
[Do you like to dance?:]Yup !NiteRidr!
[Do you like to travel?:]Depends on where to
[Have you ever been expelled from school?:]nope
[Have you ever been suspended from school?:] HAHAHA FacKin Hmmmmm
[Do you want to get out of your hometown?:]Yes, and I'm going to
[Have you ever gotten high?:] shush!
[What's your favorite drink?:]Parrot Bay...I mean DP,Water,Peach Juice(Val),Mt. Dew
[Do you like Snapple?:] Strawberry Kiwi
[Do you drink a lot of water?:]Constantly
[What toothpaste do you use?:] Crest whitening w/ Scope
[Do you have a cell phone or pager?:] Cellular Device
[Do you have a curfew?:] HINEWAYS
[What name brand do you wear the most?:] American Eagle and Hollister
[What kind of jewelry do you wear?:] Diamonds, White Gold
[What do you have pierced?:] Tongue,Belly Button,Ears
[What do you want pierced?:] Nose, eyebrow
[Do you like taking pictures?:] Absolut
[Do you like getting your picture taken?] Have you seen inside my house?
[Do you have a tan?:] I'm pretty tan
[Do you get annoyed easily?:] soo easily
[Do you have your own pool?:] Yup!
[Do you have any siblings?:] 1 brother, 3 sisters
[Do you get along with your parents?:] Yup, 2 of my best friends!
[How do you vent your anger?:] Cry,Scream,Sleep, beat someone up lol j/k
[Have you ever run away?:] not any farther then hiding on the side of my house haha
[Have you ever been fired from a job?:] Knock on Wood,no
[Do you even have a job?:] Yes'm
[Do you daydream a lot?:] Occasionally
[What do you want a tattoo of?:] 2 hearts on my back,AB knows,n whtevr me n Nik get
[What do you have a tattoo of?:] Chinese symbol for Friendship!(Steph n Allie)
[What are your favorite flowers?:]Don't know how to spell it, starts w/ a G
[What does your most recent crush look like?:] Tall,Hott,beautiful Eyes,Tan
[Are you rude?:]Perhaps
[What is your heritage?:] German and Irish
[What is your lucky number?:] 25
[What does your hair look like right now?:] Getting more Blonde everyday, Damn sun
[Could you ever be a vegetarian?:] No, I love meat, haha
[Would you ever date someone younger than you?:] Depends on how Hott,lol
[Would you ever date someone older than you?:] DEF
[How many rings until you answer the phone?:] Vibrates,then rings so when I here it or feel it
[Do you look more like your mother or father?:] Mom
[Do you cry a lot?:] Not really
[Do you ever cry to get your way?:] Did
[What phrase do you use most when on the phone?:] I knowww, Shut up
[Have you ever been chased by cops?:] no,lol (Jo)
[When was the last time you threw up?:] Awhile Ago
[What do the shoes you last wore look like?:] Black n Pink Hurley Sandals
[Is your best friend a virgin?:] Some are!
[What theme does your room have?:] Pink n Britney...o n Hott guys
[What size shoe do you wear?:] 8 1/2
[What jewelry are you wearing now?:] Diamond earrings(P),a diamond heart necklace Jose got me for V-day!
[What is your screen name on AIM?:] SuNBaBi9685
[How are you feeling right now?:] Cramps,and happy cause I'm talkin to Kyle
[What do you sleep in?:] Boxers n a Sports Bra
[Has there ever been a rumor spread about you?:] riiiiight!
[What is one of your bad qualities?:] I'm Selfish, and Snobby
[What is one of your good qualities?:] I put my friends before myself,my Smile
[Would you marry for money?:] if they had looks too lol
[What do you drive?:] I don't want to talk about it lol
[When was the last time you cried in school?:] !FUCKER!
[What time are you finishing this?:] 9:46 AM
LAST...
movie you rented = Spice World!(Meghan, Amber)
movie you bought = Gothika (Evan)
song you listened to = Fiona Apple-Never is a Promise
song that was stuck in your head = The Darkness-I believe in a thing called love
cd you bought = Britney Spears- In The Zone
cd you listened to = Dixie Chick-Fly
person you've called = Kyle
person that's called you= Eric
tv show you've watched = SummerLand
person you were thinking of = Kyle
DO...
you have a crush on someone = Hmm, what do you think...^ ^
you wish you could live somewhere else = Yup
others find you attractive = I Don't know
you want more piercings = YES
you like cleaning = when I'm in the mood
you like roller coasters = DEF
you write in cursive or print = Print
FOR OR AGAINST...
long distance relationships = Ugh!
using someone = Againest
killing people = Againest
teenage smoking = ...........
driving drunk = AGAINEST
soap operas = For
HAVE YOU...
ever cried over a boy/girl = Unfortunatly
ever lied to someone = O:)
ever been in a fist fight = Yup
ever been arrested = Close...Damn You lol
WHAT...
shampoo do you use = Biolage
shoes do you wear = Sandals, skater shoes, n my work shoes
are you scared of = Dieing Alone
NUMBER...
of times I have been in love? = 1
of times I have had my heart broken? = Too Many
of hearts I have broken? = 2 or 3
of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = 5
of scars on my body? = Atleast 10
of things in my past that I regret? = Ha
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
funny = yes
hot = Everyone has their days
friendly = Depends
amusing = Drunk amusing lol
loveable = when I'm not bitching lol
caring = of course
sweet = Can be
dorky = I'ma BIG/Huge dork
PERSON WHO LAST...
slept in your bed = Muah
saw you cry = Nikki
made you cry = David
you went to the movies with = Josh
yelled at you = Jose lol
sent you an email = Jose
HAVE YOU EVER...
said "I love you" and meant it = Yes
gone out in public in your pajamas = Yup
kept a secret from everyone = Yes
cried during a movie = Oh yea
planned your week based on the TV Guide = Full House Baby lol
been on stage = Yup
been to new york = No
been to california = No
been to hawaii = No
been to japan = No
been to canada = No
been to europe = No
been to asia = Nope
been to south = yup
apples or bananas = Bananas
blue or red = Red
walmart or target = Target ( Kyle, Jax)
spring or fall = Spring
what are you gonna do after you finish this = Shower, then Kyles coming over
what was the last meal you ate = Burgers at Kelly's w/ her n Ashley
are you bored = O Yeah
last noise you heard = Typing
last smell you sniffed= My Hair..Miracle
FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE...
do you believe in love at first sight = Yup
do you want children one day & if so, how many = yes, 1 or 2
most important thing to you in a friendship is = TRUST, HONESTY,**no hoeing round, or backstabbing**
OTHER INFO...
criminal record = nooo
do you speak any other languages = Sign Language lol
last book you read = Church of Dead Girls
Your favorite things in your bedroom =the color,my bed,n pictures/posters
who do you love = My Family, God, and Friends
who you miss = Jose, Brett,_____, and my Family
YOU...
nickname(s) = Regs,Rego,RAGEN,Ronald,Reggie
initials = REN
how old do you look = 19
how old do you act = 21
glasses/contacts = glasses
braces = Never
do you have any pets = 2 Cats Oscar/Carl...1 Dog Dawson
you get embarrassed = in a blue moon
what makes you happy = Everything
what upsets you = Guys, Liars
FINISH THE SENTENCE...
i love to.. Love
i miss...Sleepovers
i wish... I could go out
i am... Sore
i want to be... All ready
i would never...eat shit
i'd rather... cuddle n sleep
i am tired of... <3 breakers
i will always be... Pissed
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| 8 Laps in the pool |
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| Life is SO good |
[28 May 2004|04:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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thankful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Jay-Z- 99 Problems |
] |
I have work tonight, I LOVE my job!! its soo cool, talking and hanging out too...I babysit like 3 times a week...so I'm making mad cash! no complaints lol!my mom told me some disappointing news yesterday, its affects alot of people and my life, but I will get over it I'll adapt! :-/ Monday I took an exam, then headed out to the beach w/ Jamie Kelly and Ashley!! I had such a fun time going up there...then when I got there, some people tried to ruin my time, but good luck next time! they left thank god! GOSH! hahahaha, tuesday me and jamie spent the WHOLE day together, we had a fun morning. damn scantrons!! I just bubbled like this...haha! then me jax, laura, and jamie went to Tijauanas mmm, good food, bad...! so Wednesday was graduation, geez o petes was it loong, not really lol I enjoyed seeing all my friends...I cried I'm going to miss my sister, shes always there, shes a good friend when shes not being a bitch lol ;) j/k james love you! got to see some graduated hotties...lol, loved it!I babysat yesterday, all day...caught some sun while watching the kiddies haha..I'ma dork!! then kyle and I went out to dinner, kinda a first date, that was interesting..KYLE CHRISTOPHER BRADY, I'm glad we got to talk last night, I'm very excited bout our decision! ;) on a EVEN more happy note, I'm in love with all my close friends, Kelly, Ashley, Nikki, Jamie, Katie,Cynfee, Andrea, Joe, Mike, Jess, Pizza, Lindz, Kyle, Shanna, Laura, Evan, Brett, Ali, Chris, AB, Mandy, Snuggles, Raquel, Jaime, Nicole....All of you, I know I haven't been myself lately, but I can gaurentee you, I am now, I will never allow myself to be like that again, thank you for listening to me thru the crying, the whining, the drunkness, the tiredness, the mask, the laughing thank you for realizing that there was something wrong even when no one else noticed! I would not have made it through this w/o you or even life!! You are the best that comes around, if not, I would kick you too the curb lol j/k....kinda ;) thats all
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| 6 Laps in the pool |
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[26 May 2004|11:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 giddy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Juvenile- Slow Motion |
] |
I'm always amazed by the everything that you do, and then I sit here and realize the nothing that I do...I'm absolutely nothing compared to all these other girls who do this thing or another. It seems like in a sense that I'm in this dream and I'm making everyone feel the way I want them to, and I'm making you like me. Because I just can't comprehend in my mind why you would be interested. Nothing is ever said on why you like me, or what you like about me. Maybe if we could actually hang out sometime while we are both not tired, maybe if we could have just one movie night where you'd come over at like 9 when I got off of work and we'd put in a movie and just sit there together and watch it. You do more for me than you'll know, you care, you know when theres something on my mind and actually take time to ask me when other people wouldn't even think twice about it. That look on your face and the words "come over here" is enough to make me want to be in your arms for the rest of the night. I want to be everything, I want to be the one to cry on your shoulder, I want you to be the last call of the night, and maybe even the first one in the morning, I want things to work out perfectly. I just basically want you, so when is this going to happen?
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| 5 Laps in the pool |
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[21 May 2004|12:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Boyz(remix)-Britney Spears |
] |
This week has been very interesting!!
I'm really glad that I found out ALOT of stuff this year, before continuing being friends with people that aren't my true friends. Usually w/ my best friends we don't like eachother at first then we become sooo tight, but I've never had where were REAL cool, then not like eachother, its a first...theres a first for everything....but I'm ok with it, as long as I didn't cause the problem!! neways, I had orientation for Fazolis's on tuesday!! I had to sit and watch this computer program for about hmm and HOUR!! it was crazy!! But I was supposed to go out to lunch with Robbie,Kelly, And Dean...but it got allll messed up when we got there(( I <3 you Kel)), so I just had Amanda pick me up w/ Carp, and Lindz...we went back to AB's.....then Cox called and we went over to her house, we ended up getting a bottle, lol it was fun, and funny watching people!! Well I went home, and asked to spend the night, which was alot of fun, didn't go to bed till about 4:30! lol had to get up and go to school haha, man was that weird! but fun, me amanda n carp looked cracked out!! but we just were slap happy hehe....I started work last night!! I had sooooo much fun, the people are sooo nice, this kid thinks he has a chance, it was funny! he likes you want to stay after and "hang out"...I was like I'll think bout it, then I went home, and passed the fuck out!! I got up this morning and had to take exams, lol haley was still drunk, she made me drive it was soo funny!! I only had to take one today THANK GOD!! but we played kemps and B.S.!...and I get home and my mom bought me a louis vuitton purse, white and black...I was like this isn't real, but it is! I checked I was like uh oh haha baller! neways I'm bout to go to pizza w/ joe and Pat! haha swimming....whatever else! alright byE
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| 9 Laps in the pool |
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[16 May 2004|07:49pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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Bllzll-im sooooooo CONTENT |
] |
I love when people are such hypocrites!! You know,hmm just off the top of my head for example, when people are like, gosh you took things way out of hand by writing about me in your journal, well WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THE SAME THING BITCH!! but neways I had a good weekend..Found out who really cares and who doesn't...I got close with this real cool guy named Jarred Blits!He's real tight and hott uh-oh ;), he got screwed over by some douche too..hehe, we are soo hanging out!!**by the way, check out my idols wise words..Belve98** I'm sooo not upset anymore I just am over the drama, and looking back thinking wow what the fuck was I thinking,it was great while it lasted, but its soo overrated now lol, and after over n over of the cut downs, why would I want to be with someone that really thought that about me the whole time and never gave it the time to get to know me ;)!! because of course I'm just hott thats all lol...thanks!-Jackie, you need to work on your character lol...gotta love ms Avery! neways!! I can only laugh n smile now..no mask anymore, no more sadness,I'm gonna be a senior, I'm hanging with my true friends,I'm getting off probation,what more could a girl as for?! lol and I'm going to have to see "them" together around sometime mise well get over it and let the assholes be together! because they may be gaining a good relationship for about hmm 2 months, but they are losing soo much more in the long run!! through this whole thing, I have met new people and talked to old friends, so instead of saying means things, I want to say thanks! on a side note! Kelly Girl, you are sooo awesome I have never had soo much fun or been more scared then this w/e lol ;) You are sooo awesome! I'm glad we finally hung out after soo long...Um I like them really marshmellowy...and stail lol I'm SUPER content...Right Jarred!?
....Never take your life for granted! R.I.P.-Justin Gill-5*12*04
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| 31 Laps in the pool |
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hott4brit's journal
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